Why would you be sad?

 

The most important decision in my life was to be as honest as I can to myself first, and to others. I tray as much as I can to be honest first to myself. So, first what I always do when I have problem is to honestly answer to myself WHAT IS THE REASON TO HAVE THAT PROBLEM.

Today I wish to write about sadness.

It happens often to me to feel sad. My plan is to find the reason of that, so I can understand it and find solution. I have pattern to fallow, several simple steps to go, and answer is in my head. Most important step is to recognize that I have problem and hardest step is to decide to solve problem. Many smart people said that recognizing problem is half of solution. I would say, it is more.

Ask yourself:

You are sad. 

1.       Why? Answer can be different. Love problem, money problem, job related problem… anything. Possible answers: I miss him. He doesn`t love me anymore. I am broke. I have no money. I have no job…

2.        Why? (simple question – why you miss him, or why he doesn’t love you any more, or why are you broke… WHY?) Tray to be honest as you can. Answer honestly: I miss him because he is gone, has someone else… Or: He doesn`t love me anymore because he never loved me, or he found put that I have lover… Or: I am broke because I have no job… Or: I have no job, because I can`t find it…

3.       Why? He is gone because he doesn`t love me anymore… Or: I had lover, because he was not interesting to me anymore… Or: I can find job because I am always rejected when I apply on job ads…

4.       Why? He doesn`t love me anymore, because he likes better young girls, he is not committed to our marriage… Or: I am always rejected on job interview because I not well prepared for that…

Tray as many times to ask yourself why, until you come to real answer to your problem. When you come to real reason of your problem, in this case, reason of your sadness, you will see is it up to you or is it not. If is not, then, IT IS NOT UP TO YOU. I explain to myself that I did my best, and it was simply not enough. If is up to you, that is good, because you can fix it. You can make plan how to act, what steps you should take. If is to late for that situation, analyze everything and make shore not to repeat mistake. During this process you will understand do you have reason to be sad. If you are sad because someone left you and abandon long term relationship for younger girl, normal is to feel betrayed, but also is normal to feel angry. For me, anything is better than long-term sadness and despair.

                Result of this process should be that you feel better, to understand better your self and to heal yourself. Do not think for a minute that this is not hard. The hardest part is to answer honestly on your questions, and whole process of solving problem is depending on your honesty.

                Next what I do is forming good plan how to behave in future to avoid same mistakes and don`t come to same situation. Good plan is realistic plan. Also, good thing is to consult friends about your problem and steps for solving it. Probably they will show you situation in different light. Friends and family are watching you and don`t be surprised if they open some different perspective to you. Most important is to have OPEN EYES AND EARS for their comments. “Open eyes and ears” mean to take all information and opinions with positive attitude. Generally, is always good to take comments with open eyes and ears.

                After formation of good plan, it is up to you to implement it.

                The whole process will be healing for you.

                My decision is not to be sad.